When we go for a worthy and compelling goal we may SLIP along the way and it is important to know that’s a part of the process of changing our ways as we shift our paradigm and move into our full potential. The quicker we can forgive ourselves by giving ourselves some grace around slipping up, the quicker we can move on past the SLIP to what we truly want.
The first step in forgiving ourselves is simply to be aware of what is going on when we SLIP. Once we can see it for what it is, we can take the actions necessary to get us closer to our goals.
In the process of a SLIP we…
S – Select the old behavior. We selected the behavior that is more familiar and perhaps more comfortable than the intended new behavior. That’s it. A choice was made. If we look deeper, the selected behavior supports or is in alignment with our current self-concept, which most likely is a negative belief about ourselves that we are not enough in some way, shape, or form; or that we cannot learn, grow, or become what we want. The good news is it’s just a pattern and we can change a pattern. The solution going forward is – at the next selection point…Select the new behavior.
L – Limit our resourcefulness. Because we select the old behavior, which is a familiar pattern, we don’t allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable, awkward, or unfamiliar. These feelings of being out of control are the gateway to the changed behavior we desire. If we are not willing to get uncomfortable by trying something new, we will not expand our awareness of resources. Through practice and repetition what once felt difficult to perform becomes our norm. In that new place, we start to see whole new possibilities. We access our resources. The solution going forward is… Leverage our resourcefulness by being willing to move through the uncomfortable place to get to the place of our improved proficiencies.
Through practice and repetition
what once felt difficult to perform
becomes our norm.
I – Imagination got the best of us. Imagination works in both the directions of forward and reverse. In the case of a SLIP, we imagine in reverse. We tend to look at our not-so-good moments of our past and then project them onto our future which can freak us out and cause us to stay stuck or even regress. We make our past bigger than our future. To get back on track, we need to make our future bigger than our past. When we imagine the compelling future we desire and let go of our past we can then learn, grow, redeem, and become whoever we want. Imagination can bring out our best.
P – Plateau on our priorities. We all have priorities or things that are important to us. The hierarchy of what is important to us will shift moment by moment throughout our day given the context and circumstances within which we find ourselves. In the case of a SLIP we make up, in our mind, something was more important in the moment than the potential future pay off of a new or disciplined behavior. If feeling in control and not suffering rejection is our current plateau we will select certain behaviors in accordance with maintaining that current experience. However, if our plateau is growth and production, we will prioritize in a different way. We will seek out the actions that bring about the intended experience based on how we prioritize. On which plateau do you want to spend your time and master before moving on?
Next time a SLIP occurs, simply see it for what it is. We all SLIP from time to time. To move forward Select the intended behavior, Leverage resourcefulness, Imagine the future, and Prioritize the plateau.