Regardless of who you are or what you do there are going to be times where you find yourself feeling out of control. Many would even argue that being in control is an illusion and that there is no such thing. Be that as it may, we as humans generally have a tough time when it comes to feeling out of control. It can be said that the quality of our life is in direct proportion to ability to handle uncertainty.
So what can you do to gain back a sense of certainty and feeling in control when things around you are not going the way you intended?
Here are 10 suggestions for dealing with those hard times.
1. Take responsibility. Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. You can control your own response to the situation.
2. Limit the focus. Don’t let the problem become all encompassing. When you compartmentalize the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution.
3. Be optimistic. A positive stance, despite hard times, will result in positive actions.
4. Think creatively. Approach the problem from new and different directions. Trust your creativity.
5. Have courage. Don’t let fear get in the way of doing what you need to do.
6. Take action. Handling day-to-day details can keep you from getting bogged down. Determine what can be done, and do it.
7. Take the long-range view. Take solace from having survived past challenges. You will this time, too.
8. Maintain a sense of humor. Even in the darkest times, laughter can help ease the pain.
9. Get support. No need to do it alone. Ask for help.
10. Don’t quit. Persistence may be the greatest of human qualities that help us overcome adversity.
Here’s a bonus perspective: realize that your feeling out of control may be due to your current perspective with regards to time and context. Often times there is just no other way to get to our desired outcome than to go through the messy or awkward stage of the process.
Think about it. You can’t bake a cake without creating a bit of a mess that needs to be cleaned up. A surgeon can’t perform surgery without creating some trauma to the body. A home is not built without carting away unused material. It’s all part of the process.
For your benefit, simply recognize that when you are feeling out of control, you may just be in the middle of the process and to accept it as simply that and keep your focus on your desired end result.