Leaders with a Mentor Mindset know there is no room in the game for shame. And by game, we mean whatever you need it to mean. It can relate to your career, your relationships, and/or your health.
Throughout history, there has never been a perfect human being. Here’s the news flash… You will not be the first. Nor, will I.
Victor Frankl who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning, tells us, “One must be what one can be.”
There is a version we all have of our best selves. Then, with each endeavor, we measure our behavior or performance according to that version. To the degree a gap exists between our version and our performance, there is work to do.
Rather than thinking of the best version of yourself as a distant shore, consider it to be a guiding star. You may never arrive, even when you are be on a good course all along the way.
Also, to the same degree that we endeavor to be what we desire to be, we are productive. Productivity breeds happiness and happiness breeds productivity. Nice loop for sure.
Below are four simple, yet powerful, steps to help close the gap in your game:
Step 1️. Get clear on the best version of yourself, in each given situation, throughout your day.
Step 2️. Be intentional with how you want to be and perform as best you can in your next endeavor.
Step 3️. Go, do, and be in that endeavor.
Step 4️. Post endeavor – Notice, without shame or judgment, how you did. Celebrate what worked. Notice what needs work and calibrate. Leverage the effects of compounding and commit to doing a little better next time out. Continue to build on that with each endeavor. This is how you win the game.
To beat ourselves up or shame ourselves prevents us from tapping into our own wisdom and seeing how to effectively improve. By doing so, we stay stuck in a shame loop. If shame loops worked, we would be perfect by now.
Don’t be lame, drop the shame and GO for progress, not perfection.