Leaders with a Mentor Mindset reach out and ask the hard personal questions of the people they lead and care about. They shine the light on what needs to be seen and addressed so those they lead can break through their current upper limits.

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Nobody ever had a big breakthrough or accomplished anything great by playing it safe. The same goes for leaders and mentors. It’s those that ask the tough provoking questions and run the risk of embarrassment, humiliation, ridicule, abandonment, and even emotional obliteration that endure to see the greatness in others flourish. They are willing to do and feel what the average person can never imagine themselves doing. They take a big breath, trust, and ask the tough thought and emotion provoking questions.

Playing big in this way is the true leader’s habit. As with any habit it may be awkward at first.  It’s the moving through the awkwardness that increases capacity to do more and inspire others to be and do more.

Here are your action steps for this week:

Reach out and ask the hard questions, reach out and ask the hard questions, and reach out and ask the hard questions.

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Here are five provocative questions to help you prime the pump:
  1. What might you be doing to keep the success you want out of your life?
  2. Is there a pattern or habit you may be  running and you have become blind to that could be holding you back?
  3. What is the thought or belief of who you think you’re NOT that is keeping you from the breakthrough you want?
  4. What is the boldest and perhaps scariest action you can take in the next 24 hours to breakthrough this place of where you are stuck?
  5. Ask yourself, “What are 3 more caring and challenging questions I can ask to help others break through their limits?”

As you move into asking more caring and challenging questions of the people you lead, you will surely notice them and yourself perhaps twisting a bit. It’s O.K.  Keep digging to get to the gold. These types of questions must come from the heart.  If not, you will know and they will feel it too.

Some people may take offense to you asking the hard questions. Remember, it’s not you nor your question that offends them. The questions merely made them aware of something within themselves that is not O.K. per their values and standards.  It’s human nature to look outward rather than inward when the pain of incongruence is triggered.  This is the very moment to have compassion and stay in the game of helping them look within.