It is what it is. Accept it. We can’t change it if it happened. It happened and it will not unhappen. Let it go. It’s what we call a “So What!Now What?” We have two choices. Either we let it control us or we control it.
So, what is the it? Whatever was said, not said, done, or not done is over. It’s gone. What remains is our thinking about it. The “it” is our thinking and we have a choice. We are always at choice. Choose to harvest the good. There is good in everything. Look for it and we will find it. Keep looking and we will find more. Forgive all that we believe is not good. Release it. Simple, perhaps. Easy, not so much.
We know by now that if we burn our hand on the stove to pull away and then treat the burn to minimize the damage and begin the healing.
Imagine someone who accidently burns their hand and starts to direct their hurt and anger at the burner for being a burner and burning. They concoct a story to make the burner wrong and bad. They spend time and energy trying to figure out how to unburn themselves and wishing it never happened. All the while, not treating the burn and letting it blister and possibly become infected. We might judge that person as a person that over reacts or is a bit unbalanced.
Now let’s look at where we react to a person or situation in a similar way. There are thousands of books, seminars, and programs that address the issue and how to learn to respond in a more healthy and productive way. So, it’s a thing that we all deal with and do from time to time in varying ways. A great starting point is to simply have compassion for ourselves when we slip into it and compassion for others when they are in it.
We can’t unburn ourselves. We can either treat the burn and have awareness to create a strategy or process to limit being burned again going forward, or we could not treat the burn and dive into spending time and energy researching ways to better tolerate being burned, or avoid ever being burned again. We could buy and wear fireproof gloves for the rest of our lives. We could remove the stove from our home. We can either respond accordingly from our power or we react from the absence of our power.
The body, like the mind, and soul is amazing in it’s ability to heal. Eventually, if we don’t pick at the scabs of the burn as it tries to heal, the pain of the burn goes away and we may or may not be left with a scar – a reminder that something happened, we had an experience, we hopefully learned, grew, and moved on. However, if we keep picking at the burn as it tries to heal and keep the wound open, it doesn’t take much of a touch from our self or someone else to cause pain in that area.
A rational person does not keep picking at a wound nor do they spend their days looking at all their scars and reliving the episodes that caused them. A rational person adapts and moves on. Are emotional scars any different? I am not passing judgment on traumas that affect our psyche. Many, if not all, can be very deeply rooted and continue to affect us. Therapy has its place and is a wonderful resource to help people. All therapies, when effective, help a person realize they have a choice in how they see an event and see themselves; that they can choose/create a new meaning from a place of power rather than remain a victim.
From this point on, when something happens we wish was different, let’s remain in our power and make meaning of which we can continue to move forward in our life in a way that we desire. By making an empowering meaning we enable ourselves to stay present and out of the past. As we harvest the good we get to carry that with us throughout our life. Hanging on to and not forgiving what we judge to be bad only continues to burn.
Let’s practice this today and throughout our week and notice the shifts that present themselves. When something happens we think or wish was different than what was, let’s stay in our power and follow these four steps:
- Accept it. It is what it is.
- Harvest the good. There is always good.
- Forgive the rest.
- Continue to move forward
Make it up, make it fun, and get it done!