The confidence we seek is on the other side of the risk we fear to take. Our feelings of confidence either expand or contract in direct proportion to our willingness to venture into that place of the uncertain, or wherever we tend to fear.
If we play it safe by staying put in the dark and avoid taking risks, we will end up fearing that which we cannot see and perhaps does not even exist. However, if we get up and move forward while bumping into things, getting bruised, and falling down, we gain references and insights that will lead to our sense of certainty of being able to handle ourselves accordingly. This courageous endeavor provides us the confidence we seek to successfully navigate our life. Notice courage comes before confidence.
By the way, according to Franklin D. Roosevelt, “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” M. Scott Peck, goes on to say, “The absence of fear is some sort of brain damage.”
The more uncomfortable something is for us to do, the more likely it is to produce the breakthrough for which we are looking.
The quality of our life is correlated to our comfort and ability to handle uncertainty. In order to develop more certainty, we must step in to more uncertain situations to provide us the opportunity and ability to become more certain
Confidence is situational. The desire for more confidence or greater certainty comes from the degree to which we believe we can’t handle the perceived worst case scenario. For many, the worst case scenario is the thinking of what will others think and say. How could we possibly deal with the ridicule and shame? By the way, Eleanor Roosevelt’s words can be helpful here, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Let’s face it, we do not fear our shoe coming untied because we know there is no real threat if it does; we just tie it. No fear in what others may think about us if our shoe comes untied or what the untied shoe could ultimately lead to.
However, what about a situation that may carry more weight or potential impact? Again, it comes back to our ability to comfortably handle whatever may come about as a result of our action or inaction.
Success comes from good judgment, good judgement comes from experience, and experience often times comes from poor judgment. Be willing to get it wrong. By doing so we will learn and increase our capacity to handle more.
Truth be told, people we may view as more successful than us have feelings of doubts, fears, and worries just like anybody else. The difference is they don’t let those feelings stop them. They find a way to act from their commitment to their vision and goals rather than be swayed by momentary emotions.
They also know inaction breeds more doubts and fears. Action breeds confidence and courage. If we want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. We must go out and expose ourselves to more uncertainty so we can allow ourselves to gain the experiences to figure out how to move beyond it. In the dark scary cave of uncertainty is the confidence we seek.
Thomas Edison known for having the confidence to continually step into the uncertain provides this observation, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”
Step into the uncertainty and be prepared to be astounded.
Make it up, make it fun, and get it done!